The Rules of Fatherhood
by Sirens And Muses
Summary: A special Father's Day treat. Twenty rules, all with a story about Kratos and Lloyd. Happy Father's Day!
1. Rule 1: Sugar

**Siren: This is so incredibly short. Like, 300 words, seriously.**

**Muse: But that's okay, being as there will be 20 chapters.**

**Siren: There's a private joke in here. Once, we were chatting with our friend Tori, who also plays ToS and LOVES Kratos. She said, "I can't see Kratos as a dad. Like, I just don't see him fishing or making cookies or doing any other dad stuff." **

**Muse: So we had him making cookies!**

**Siren: It would have been longer, but we just came up with this idea while hanging out in my basement at, like, 10:30 this evening. And we wanted to get it out by the end of Father's Day.**

**Muse: Disclaimer! We own nothing!**

**Siren: Review, pleases!**

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_Rule #1: Never give a two-year-old handfuls of sugar._

"Daddy, whatcha doin'?" Kratos looked down to see his little boy staring up at him.

"Making sugar cookies, Lloyd. They're for Mommy's birthday."

"What's that?" he asked, pointing to the unmixed dough.

"It's dough for the cookies."

"Can I have some?"

"No, it's…" He struggled to recall the word Anna used. "Kucky."

"Oh. What's that?"

"Sugar."

"Sugah? Can I have some, Daddy?"

Kratos stared down at his son. Surely, it wouldn't do any harm to give him a little bit of sugar, would it? He kneeled down and poured a small pile of sugar into Lloyd's hands.

"Be careful not to spill it." He smiled as he watched his son happily go outside to play.

He continued making the cookies. Anna would be home from shopping soon, so he had to hurry up to make her present. As he rushed to stir the dough, Kratos heard the pitter-patter of little feet.

"Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"Can I have some more sugah?"

"A little more, I suppose. But that's it." He gave him another handful of sugar.

"Thanks, Daddy, I uppose." Lloyd grinned and went back outside.

After he'd finished making the cookies, Kratos went out to give his son one.

"Lloyd," he called out, finding him lying in the grass on his back. "Lloyd, here's a-" He stopped abruptly when he saw his face.

"Lookie, Daddy, they like me! They's givin' me kisses!" Lloyd's mouth was covered with sugar and ants. He was giggling as they crawled all over his face, ears, and neck. Kratos shook his head and picked him up, brushing the bugs off.

"That's it. No more sugar for you. Ever."


	2. Rule 2: Playpens

**Muse: To make up for our incredibly short chapter yesterday, we made another one in a day.**

**Siren: Be grateful.**

**Muse: You're such a sweet, delicate flower.**

**Siren: (tackles)**

**Muse: Uh...someone, please do the disclaimer! I'm kind of busy right now! (gets arm broken)**

**(random poof) Kratos: What the hell?!**

**Siren: (squeals) KRATOS!!!**

**Muse: Quick, Kratos! Say the disclaimer and run!**

**Kratos: Uh...Sirens & Muses do not own Tales of Symphonia! (runs)**

**Siren: Wait, Kratos! I have to rape you! (tackles)**

**Kratos: (screams)**

**Muse: (shakes head) Poor Kratos. Oh, well! Review please!**

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_Rule #2: Babies really don't like staying in playpens. And they are smarter than they look._

Kratos sighed. Why did _he_ always have to watch Lloyd while _she _went shopping? He loved his son, but he had no patience for tiny children. It wasn't that Lloyd was misbehaving, but rather that he'd finally learned to walk and didn't want to stop. Kratos had been trying to lay him down for a nap since lunch, about three hours ago.

"No." Kratos picked him up from where he was biting Noishe's tail. "Don't do that, Lloyd."

Lloyd stared up at him for a moment, confused, before laughing and grabbing a spiky lock of his father's hair.

"Don't you do it!"

With a squeal of joy, Lloyd yanked down. Kratos let out a yelp of pain before glaring at the little boy, who seemed to find the older man's reaction hilarious.

"That's it. You're going in the playpen." Kratos turned and headed towards it.

Lloyd seemed to understand the threat. He clawed at his father's hands in a desperate attempt at freedom. When Kratos bent down to set him in the playpen, he whimpered and put his arms up at him.

"You're not coming out." Kratos shook his head at Lloyd to make his point clear. The little boy scrunched his face up and let loose a cry that made the hair on the back of Kratos' neck stand up.

For the next few minutes, Lloyd continued to cry, with no avail. Then he resorted to simply making his father miserable.

"Uh!" An empty cup hit Kratos' head while he was reading. He sighed and handed it back.

"Don't throw it again," he warned.

Several minutes later, the cup flew through the air and smacked the book that was in Kratos' hands. He once again handed it back.

"You're not getting it back if you throw it again."

Once again, the cup went flying out of Lloyd's hands. However, Kratos, who'd been expecting it, caught it.

"I warned you. I'm keeping it." He got up from the chair and put the cup in the kitchen sink. Behind him, he heard Lloyd screaming for his cup. But by the time his father had returned, the little boy had turned his back and was tucked in the corner of the playpen.

"Mope if you want," Kratos said, picking up his book. "You're not getting out of there."

For the next several hours, the only noises Kratos heard were the sounds of Lloyd playing with his toys, followed by silence.

Kratos smiled as Anna walked in the house, carrying bags of groceries. "Hi," she greeted him, closing the door behind her. "How's Llo-" She stopped abruptly, dropping her bags. "Kratos, where's Lloyd?"

"He's taking a nap in the playpen."

"No," she said, pointing. "He's not."

Kratos and Anna leaned down and saw that their son was not, in fact, in the playpen. All there was in the corner was a small, Lloyd-sized hole in the mesh. A loose string lay off to the side of where Lloyd had been.

"Great job watching him," Anna said angrily. "I hope you're better at finding him!"

"Don't worry," Kratos said soothingly, despite the fact that inside, he was a nervous wreck. "I'm sure he's fine."

The couple scoured their tiny apartment for the little boy. There was no sign of Lloyd anywhere.

"You don't think he could've gotten out of the apartment, do you?" Anna asked worriedly.

"The door wasn't open."

"Should we check, just in case?"

They left and continued their search out in the halls of the apartment building. Tenants stared at them as they checked in any open doors, elevators, staircases, or anywhere that a baby could escape to, calling out their son's name.

An hour past. Anna began to become increasingly hysterical. Kratos himself was about to lose his cool demeanor.

They were re-checking their floor when Kratos spotted the door to their apartment.

"Anna? You shut the door when we left, right?"

"Of course I did, don't be dumb."

"Then why is it open?"

They both ran for the apartment, calling out for Lloyd. They walked in to see their apartment looking exactly the same as when they left it, except for one thing. Lloyd lay sleeping on a pillow in the middle of the room, sucking the thumb on one hand, the other twirling his hair in his sleep.

"How'd he get back in here?" Kratos asked quietly.

"I have no idea," Anna answered. Then she began to laugh.

Lloyd heard her laughter and began to stir. Kratos clapped his hand over her mouth.

"Shh. I've been trying to get him to take a nap all day."

"How did we miss him?" she whispered as he picked up his son and took him into the bedroom.

"He wasn't in the apartment. We checked everywhere." He kissed Lloyd's forehead and set him down in the crib.

"Weird."

"Quite."

"So, guess what?"

"I'll be doing the shopping from now on?"

"You'll be doing the shopping from now on."


	3. Rule 3: Questions

**Siren: Third chapter! Whoo!**

**Muse: This one is inspired by Farfromfearless' story, "The Most Practical Gift."**

**Siren: Read it. It's amazing.**

**(poof) Zelos: Where am I?**

**Siren: Zelos, do you have any STDs?**

**Zelos: ...Why?**

**Siren: (laughs evilly)**

**Zelos: Sirens & Muses do not own ToS, Lloyd, Kratos, Yuan, Anna, or Zelos.**

**Muse: Review, please. **

**Siren: Come on, Zelos, let's go visit Kratos in the basement.**

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Rule #3: Sometimes, it is better to keep the answer to a child's question vague than to answer completely and honestly.

"Daddy, can I help you?" Lloyd tugged on the bottom of his father's pant leg. Kratos smiled.

"Of course you can, Lloyd."

"You doin' lundry?"

"Yes."

"Okay!" Lloyd began to follow his father's lead and pick clothes off the ground beside them and dunk them into the soapy water.

"Daddy, what's this?" Kratos looked over to see Lloyd holding a soapy garment. It took him a moment to realize that it was a lacey, black bra.

"Oh. That's something Mommy wears."

"Why?"

"Because…" He struggled to answer honestly, but didn't know how to explain. "Well, it…keeps her warm," he finished lamely.

"How's she wear it? Like pants?" Lloyd began to put his legs through the straps, but Kratos shook his head and took the bra away.

"No, not exactly…" he muttered uncomfortably.

"Show me," Lloyd demanded.

Kratos sighed. "Well, it goes like this." He began to slip his arms through the straps, pulling it over his shirt. As he did so, he couldn't help feeling like an utter fool; he was just glad that only his son was there to witness it.

He finished and looked down at his son. "There. Is that all you wanted to know?"

Lloyd nodded happily. "Yep!"

Kratos breathed a sigh of relief and began to take the undergarment off. Lloyd held up his hands.

"Wait, Daddy! Keep it on, you look cool!" Lloyd giggled. "I like it!"

Kratos sighed. "Lloyd, it's not mine to wear…"

"Well, I sure hope not." Kratos looked up to see Yuan standing about ten feet, staring. "You and Anna have some interesting…techniques."

"Hi!" Lloyd yelled, waving. Yuan waved back, still staring at the boy's father.

Kratos tore the bra off, almost ripping it in the process, and threw it in the laundry basket. "Yuan, what are you doing here?"

"Just thought I should give you a heads up that Desians are headed this way. Of course, you might scare them off wearing that." Yuan shook his head. "I'll just…go now."

Yuan turned to leave his friend to wallow in his embarrassment, but he turned when he heard a voice call his name.

"Yuan! What are doing here?" Anna walked to his side, carrying another laundry basket.

"Just giving Kratos some news. And wondering why he's wearing lingerie."

"Lingerie?" Anna asked, confused. Then she shook her head. "I don't want to know."

"Look, Mommy!" Lloyd yelled, picking up the bra and holding up to his chest. "I'm warm, too!"

"It's not what it looks like-" Kratos began to explain.

Anna shook her head and pointed to the house. "Go do something that you can't scar Lloyd for life with."

Kratos attempted to explain himself once again before giving up. "Come on, Lloyd," he said, sighing. "Let's go shopping."

"Okay, Daddy!" Lloyd set the bra back down and grinned before grabbing his father's hand. As they passed Anna and Yuan, she shook her head. Behind him, Kratos heard her whisper to Yuan.

"Honestly."


	4. Rule 4: Noises

**Siren: OK, for this one, you have to imagine that the amusement park in ToS doesn't totally suck.**

**Muse: We wanted to do a fireworks one, and that was the only place we could think that there would be fireworks.**

**Siren: Pretend it has more that a teacup ride, a ferris wheel, and a roller coaster you can't even ride.**

**Muse: Sirens & Muses don't own ToS or its characters, sucky amusement parks, or places.**

**Siren: Review please!**

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_Rule #4: Some children don't mind loud noises. But there are a few that do._

"It looks like so much fun!" Anna said, laughing as they came into view of the rides.

Kratos smiled. For Anna's birthday, he'd taken her and Lloyd to the amusement park in Altamira. Lloyd was sitting on his father's shoulders, staring around him in wonder. His eyes kept zooming do all the different rides and people, trying to focus on everything at once.

"Look, Lloyd!" Anna looked behind her at her son. "Later tonight, there's going to be fireworks!"

"What is those?" Lloyd asked curiously.

"They're big, bright, sparkly lights in the sky."

Lloyd shook his head. "No, Mommy, those are just stars!"

Anna laughed. "No, these are different. They shoot up from the ground and make noise."

His eyes grew wide. "Really? Can we see them?"

"Of course," Kratos said. Suddenly, the roller coaster roared overhead. Lloyd's eyes lit up.

"That one! Let's go on that one!"

They took the thrilled toddler over to the ride entrance. "Sorry," the man at the front said. "The little one's too young to ride."

"I is not!" Lloyd told him indignantly. "I can already say how olds I am. Three!" He held up four fingers. Kratos gently curled one down into his palm.

"Why don't just you go?" he told Anna. "I'll take Lloyd on another ride."

So Kratos and Lloyd left to go find another ride. "What would you like to do, Lloyd?"

Lloyd looked around. "Um…I want…that!" He pointed to a little girl playing with a balloon.

"You want a balloon?"

"Yeah!" Lloyd said excitedly. "A bloon! A red one!"

Kratos bought his son a balloon from the vendor. He tied it around the little boy's skinny wrist. "Here. So it won't fly away."

Lloyd laughed and began to run around, bouncing it off the ground. Kratos sat on a bench and watched him, waiting for his wife to come back out.

A few seconds later, there was a loud, 'pop', followed by a scream. Lloyd leapt up into his father lap, the popped balloon dangling from his wrist.

"Daddy!" he wailed, burying his face into Kratos' chest. "I broke my bloon and it went boom! I didn't like that! It was mean and it hurt my ears!"

Kratos let Lloyd sob into his chest for a little while before he calmed down. After a few minutes, the little boy looked up at his father.

"Daddy?" he asked. "Can we get ice cream?"

Kratos chuckled. Of course Lloyd's mind wouldn't stay on the balloon for long. He had the same attention span as when he'd been born.

But something kept nagging in the back of Kratos' mind as he bought his son ice cream. All day, as they played at the amusement park, something bothered him; he couldn't put his finger on it. It wasn't until they'd sat down on the ground to wait for the fireworks display that it hit him.

Fireworks go 'boom', too.

Lloyd was chattering away, sitting in his usual spot on his father's shoulders. "Look, Mommy, Daddy!" he cried, pointing to the night sky. "A star! And there's another one! Over there, too! And over here! They're everywhere!"

A loud, long whistle let loose, signaling the start of the fireworks. Kratos winced as it exploded with a loud 'pop'. He hadn't taken into account his own super-sensitive hearing.

He was distracted by Lloyd's arms wrapping around his neck. "Daddy! Make them stop!" he screamed. "Make the boom-booms stop!"

He buried his face in Kratos' hair, crying and making muffled pleas for them to stop. Kratos himself wished he'd thought this through. He was getting a headache.

The fireworks ended with a very loud grand finale. Lloyd held on tighter, choking Kratos.

"Lloyd," he gasped, prying his son's arms loose, "I can't breathe."

When it finally ended, the only sound that could be heard was Lloyd's muffled voice asking if the 'boom-booms' were gone. Kratos glanced over at Anna.

He'd been so busy worrying about Lloyd and his own hearing, he'd failed to notice the absence of Anna. She lay in the grass, snoring gently. Kratos sighed.

"Time to go home, Lloyd," he said, picking up his sleeping wife. She snorted a little, but didn't wake up.

Lloyd lifted his head. "Is Mommy aseep?"

"Yes, don't wake her."

Lloyd glared angrily at the dark sky. "Mean boom-booms. They put Mommy to seep!"


	5. Rule 5: Gross

**Siren: Ah, if you have little sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews, or cousins-**

**Muses: Or have ever babysat.**

**Siren: Shut up, Muse. You've had the joy of touching something that you just don't know what it is. It's sticky, strangely colored, smells bad, and is usually something you hope to never touch again.**

**Muse: I'm in an abusive relationship.**

**Siren: Go complain to VOICe, then. You _chose_ to become friends with me. Just think, we could've never talked as kindergartners.**

**Muse: You were abusive back then, too. You hit me with a toy spatula.**

**Siren: Yeah, and I got put in the corner for that, too! (beats with real spatula) Thanks a lot, tattletail!**

**Muse: Sirens & Muses don't Tos or this spatula. Review, please!**

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_Rule #5: As a father, you get used to disgusting things._

Kratos should've known better. When the little boy had run up to greet him, he hadn't stopped to think that he shouldn't pick him up and set him on his favorite place to be. It hadn't occurred to him that the boy had just stopped wearing diapers and moved onto 'big boy' underwear.

"Daddy!" Lloyd jumped into his father's arms, who picked him up and swung him over his head and onto his shoulders. "I miss you!"

"I missed you, too." Something didn't feel right. "Lloyd," Kratos asked, "why are you wet?"

"Uh…I dunno."

"Did you have an accident?"

Lloyd shook his head innocently. "No!"

"Don't lie to me."

"My not!" Lloyd shook his head harder. "Noishe did it."

"Noishe…wet your pants?"

"Yeah! See, he…" Lloyd struggled to come up with a good excuse. "Noishe, he came up and made me wet."

Kratos picked Lloyd up off his shoulders and set him on the ground. "Is that the truth?" he asked, kneeling down.

The little boy looked down guiltily. "…No."

"Good boy," Kratos said, ruffling his hair and standing up. "Now, let's go home and get you cleaned up."

"Okay!" Lloyd, glad that he wasn't in trouble, grabbed his father's hand.

"What's on your hand?" Kratos said suddenly. He stopped and kneeled down, feeling his hands, which had some kind of dried yellow goop on them.

"Um…Mommy made me brefist." Lloyd tried to lick his hands, but Kratos grabbed his wrists. "She made eggies, and they were yummy! So, I saved some for later."

Kratos immediately released his son's hands. "Ew."

"It's not ew, Daddy! It's yummy!" Lloyd licked his hands, much to his father's disgust.

"Ew…Lloyd, don't do that."

Lloyd stopped. "Do you want some, Daddy?"

"That's…alright, Lloyd."

Lloyd giggled and ran up to the bottom of the steps to the inn. "Mommy maded me cake, too! She gived me a piece, and I saved part of it for you!" The three-year-old pulled a lump of chocolate cake out from under the step. "See? Doesn't it look yummy?"

Kratos stared down at his son's eager face. "It looks delicious."

"Yeah, it do looks delicis!" He held the cake up to his father's face. "Don't you wanna eat it?" Without waiting for an answer, Lloyd shoved a piece into Kratos' mouth. "Now chew it up!"

Kratos gagged on the stale piece of cake and spit it out. Lloyd looked heartbroken.

"No, Lloyd, listen-" he desperately tried to explain. But it was too late; the little boy burst into tears.

"You-you didn't like it?" he sniffled.

"No, it was yummy!" Kratos hesitantly picked up the remaining cake. Hoping his gag reflex didn't kick in, he put it in his mouth. He managed to choke down the stale cake, which had taken on a dirt-like aftertaste from being left outside.

Lloyd's face lit up. "You did liked it! You did! I knewed you would!" Thrilled, he grabbed his father's hand and pulled him up the steps. Inside, Lloyd stopped and his face turned pale.

"What wrong?" Kratos looked around, expecting some sort of danger. Lloyd pointed to the floor.

"A spider." He huddled against his father's leg. "Daddy, kill it!"

Kratos smiled at his son's fear. He stepped on the spider. "There. Better?"

Lloyd shook his head happily and approached the spot where the dead spider was. He picked it up by one of the legs. "Daddy, do you think Mommy will like it?"

"What?" Kratos asked, confused.

"You brought Mommy back a present from a monster you killed! Do you think she'll like this one?"

Kratos remembered once, a month or so ago, when he'd brought Anna a piece of fur from a monster. She'd made a blanket with it.

"Lloyd," he said gently, "It's a little different. Mommy made that into a blanket. She can't really do anything with a dead spider."

Lloyd stuck his tongue out at his father. "She can make a bankit outta this, too!" He cradled the dead spider in his hands as if it were the most precious thing in the world. "She'll like it! I'll show you!"

With those words of parting, the little boy took off towards their inn room. Kratos smiled and followed him. Truth be told, he really did want to see Anna's face when Lloyd gave her the spider. Kids, he realized, were gross little wonders.


	6. Rule 6: Hereditary

**Siren: Here it is, the sixth rule! It's a bit of an overdone subject, but we figured, what the hell?**

**Muse: My mother's calling again.**

**Siren: Ooh! Let me answer it!**

**Muse: NO. Do you remember last time?**

**FLASHBACK...**

**_Siren: Hello?_**

**_Muse's Mom: Who is this?!_**

**_Siren: Uh...Sara._**

**_Muse's Mom: Where's Maxtin?!_**

**_Siren: (laughes) Maxtin?! His full name is Maxtin?! What a gay name!_**

**_Muse's Mom: I was under the assumption that Maxtin was staying overnight at another boy's house!_**

**_Siren: Well, you know what they say about assumptions..._**

**_Muse's Mom: Are you and Maxtin up to any...funny business?_**

**_Siren: Ew, God, no, I'd never touch him. He's greasy. But seriously, why Maxtin? What's wrong with just Max?_**

**_Muse's Mom: (click)_**

**_Siren: Muse! Your mom hung up on me!_**

**_Muse (from bathroom): Would it_ _have been _that _hard to just slide the phone under the door?_**

**REAL LIFE...**

**Siren: True story. Since Muse is busy talking to his mommy-(snickers)-I'll say the disclaimer. Sirens & Muses don't own ToS. It belongs solely to Namco. Review, please! Please? Please?! Don't you love us?! Oh, living hell, FF's f***ing up the format again...**

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_Rule #6: Some things can't be explained; they're just hereditary._

Kratos and Lloyd sat at the dinner table, the little boy in his father's lap. The toddler was banging his fork on the plate, chanting, "Food! Bring me food! Food!"

Kratos hushed his son and took the utensil away. "Gimme!" Lloyd reached angrily for the fork.

Anna walked out of the kitchen, carrying food for her family. Kratos was the one who cooked most of the meals, mostly because-and he would never tell his wife this-it wasn't one of her talents. In this case, she had brought out steak, covered in pepper, salt, pepper, garlic, pepper, onion, pepper, basil, and pepper.

"Eat up!" she said cheerfully.

Lloyd poked his fork at the steak. Kratos picked up a knife and began to cut Lloyd's steak into smaller pieces. It was rare, very rare, bleeding, possibly still living. Lloyd made a face.

"Mommy?" he squeaked out. It was an understood rule to never question his mother's cooking. "I don't like this."

"You love steak," she said, smiling. "You eat it all the time when Daddy makes it."

Anna had thrown that qualifying factor in there, Kratos knew, as if to dare anyone to make the remark they were all thinking.

Lloyd said nothing. He picked up one of the small pieces of steak and bit into it. Kratos had been sure to make them tiny, because Lloyd had trouble chewing rare food. Just as he predicted, it took almost five minutes for the boy to finally swallow his first bite.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Anna asked Kratos.

"Um…of course." He hesitantly cut a piece and put it in his mouth. His first thought was that it tasted oddly familiar, but he couldn't tell; too much pepper. Anna sat there, smiling and eating her steak without fuss.

"Is it good?" she inquired.

"Delicious." Kratos swallowed his piece with some difficulty. "What did you season it with?"

"Pepper," she answered, absentmindedly playing with the peas on her plate. "Some garlic, butter, other things."

"What other things?" Kratos asked suspiciously.

"Oh, you know," she shrugged. "A little lemon juice, some chopped onions…tomato juice."

Lloyd squealed and shoved his plate, which landed on the floor. Noishe immediately began to eat it. Lloyd gripped his father's arm, spitting on the floor. Kratos gently pushed his meal away.

"Oh, come on!" Anna said as he stood, Lloyd still clinging to him. "It wasn't that bad! I put on enough pepper that you couldn't even taste it!"

Kratos sighed. "We're going someplace else to eat. Enjoy your steak."

Anna stuck her tongue out at him. "Fine, don't eat it. Tell me, where else are you going to go?"

She had a point. They were currently in Hima, the middle of nowhere located conveniently on top of a cliff and out of the way of the rest of the world. The closest place to eat was Luin.

"Oh!" she said triumphantly. "Now what, Mr. High And Mighty?"

Kratos sighed and went back into the kitchen with Lloyd. He searched through the cabinets with no avail. Anna leaned against the doorframe, watching them.

"Why won't you just eat the tomatoes?"

"Mommy!" Lloyd yelled. "They're yucky!"

"Because they are disgusting, vile things-" Kratos began.

"They are not!"

"Are too!" Lloyd said.

"They have a texture like insect larvae." Kratos opened the pantry door, determined not to have her win.

"And just how do you know what insect larvae's texture feels like?"

"Lloyd doesn't like tomatoes." Kratos took out a bag of rotten oranges and discarded them.

"I don't like 'em, Mommy!"

Anna sighed in defeat. "Fine. Cook something yourself then." She left the room.

Kratos pulled out a box of crackers and a jar peanut butter, the only food left in the house that both he and his son would eat. He spread some of the peanut butter on the crackers and handed Lloyd the plate. The toddler stared at it.

"Daddy?" Lloyd asked quietly. "Why are we eating cackers?"

Kratos sighed as he began to eat his share of the 'meal'. "Because, Lloyd, you inherited your sense of taste and your incredible stubbornness from me."

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	7. Rule 7: Quiet

**Siren: Muse, something is wrong here.**

**Muse: Like, the fact that we haven't updated in...twelve days? Which is amazing for you, because you hate for people to wait for updates?**

**Siren: No. I meant that there are nine alerts and seven favorites for this fic, and only about five reviews for each chapter. COME ON, PEOPLE, REVIEW! Or else I'll have to feed Muse to Mr. Peanut. And I don't wanna have to do that.**

**Muse: You're mean. Disclaimer: Sirens & Muses do not own ToS or Mr. Peanut.**

**Siren: By the way, THANK YOU ALL! We got one thousand hits for this fic. You people, our fans, are amazing.**_

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_Rule #7: It's the quiet ones you have to watch._

Kratos remembered back, when Lloyd was a baby, unable to walk or talk. He'd been sweet and silent, taking after his father. Kratos had always thought babies would spend most of their time crying or babbling or laughing. But his son rarely made noises, just looked at you with those big brown eyes. He smiled, he frowned, he cried when uncomfortable, he laughed when amused, but never had Kratos heard of a baby so quiet. Even when Lloyd had learned to speak semi-coherently, his words were fewer than most toddlers.

What the hell had happened?

"So then, I bit the snake's head off, and he exploded into a million pieces, and so the other snakes got mad and yelled at us, so Noishe chased 'em and I bit their heads off again!" Lloyd looked up from his seat on his father's lap. "Daddy, are you lisnin' to me?"

"Of course, Lloyd," Kratos answered, glancing down at him. In truth, he'd been tuning his son out. The stories Lloyd told each night before bed seemed to get longer. As he listened to the boy's adventures, he couldn't help but wonder where they came from. He knew full well that Lloyd's day involved eating, sleeping, and playing. No epic adventures involved.

Sometimes, he considered reprimanding his son for his lies, but Anna often told him that no harm came from storytelling; imagination is a good thing to have. And, after all, was it really so bad to listen to the ramblings of a little boy?

"…Noishe and me runned away, so Mommy came and broked their heads! And told 'em to stop bein' mean!" Lloyd looked up hopefully. "Daddy, next time will you come help me and Noishe?"

"Every time," Kratos said soothingly. "Now, go to sleep."

Lloyd yawned and plopped back onto the pillow. "Night, Daddy."

"Goodnight, Lloyd."

He rarely actually slept. Some nights, he'd doze off, for the sake of mental relaxation, but mostly he spent his nights reading or watching Lloyd and Anna sleep. He never got tired of seeing his little one snore or his beloved wife toss and turn on the bed.

On this particular night, however, he felt a sudden urge to go outside. The family was staying in Triet, and the stars filled the sky with no cloud cover. He crept out of the inn and began to walk around aimlessly.

Kratos heard the sound of a door opening, but dismissed it as the wind blowing. He didn't hear the tiny footsteps behind him, or the sound of someone shivering. His mind was focused on the relaxation of being outside and not having a little boy ripping his hair out. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

He kept walking, ignoring the sounds that he thought were just monsters and animals crawling around at night. He walked all the way out of the city, into the dessert. He found himself at the edge of the Triet Ruins, which were now a seal for the Chosen. He ran his hand over the smooth edge of the oracle stone. Suddenly, his super sensitive hearing picked up the sound of snake hissing, and a scream. A familiar scream.

Kratos froze for a moment, unable to move. What was Lloyd doing all the way out here? He should be asleep. The scream rang out again, this time a recognizable word.

"Daddy!" Kratos spun around and ripped his sword out of its sheath. He ran blindly towards the scream, not sure where it'd come from. He glanced around and finally spotted his son.

Lloyd was on the ground, a snake rearing its head at the boy. Kratos' heart stopped when he saw that Lloyd's arm was bleeding. Tears streamed down the boy's face as he tried to crawl away from the animal. Cursing himself for his inability to notice his own child tailing him, Kratos let out an attack that hit the snake dead on. It hissed a little bit before turning on Kratos. He skillfully dodged the snake's snap at him and turned to check on Lloyd. The little boy had moved.

In between Kratos and the snake.

"Leave Daddy 'lone!" Lloyd glared at it, clutching his wounded arm. The snake hissed again.

"Lloyd, no!" Kratos lunged for Lloyd at the same time his attacker did. He skidded along the sand and wrapped his arm around his son just as the snake reached them.

Lloyd screamed, but his father knew he hadn't been hit this time. The animal's fangs sunk into Kratos' arm and a burning sensation overtook him. Venom spread through him, but he didn't care. Lloyd was unharmed, that was all that mattered. He stabbed the snake with more force than needed to kill it.

Kratos stood up, staring down at his son. "Let me see your arm," he whispered.

"Daddy…" Lloyd's lip quivered. "Daddy, you're bleeding."

"Lloyd!" Kratos said with more tension in his voice than he intended. The little boy whimpered and showed his wound.

Kratos kneeled down and examined it. The snake had bitten him, injecting the venom. It amazed him that his son could withstand the pain of poison this long. He healed both Lloyd and himself quickly.

"Daddy," Lloyd whispered. "Are you mad at me?"

"No…" Kratos pulled his son to his chest. "No, I'm not. I'm just…worried, that's all. Why aren't you in bed?"

"I gots scared when you left. Mommy was seepin', and I was 'lone."

Kratos chuckled. Now that he was out of danger, Lloyd seemed so…funny. He lifted him up and swung him over his shoulders. Lloyd gave a shriek of laughter and grasped a lock of spiky hair for balance. They began to walk back home in silence. Until Lloyd spoke again.

"Daddy? You know what? I was gonna save you. I was gonna kill that snake. I almost did, I almost bited his head off. Yeah, and you know what?"

"What, Lloyd?" Kratos asked, bemused.

"I love you, Daddy, and I's gonna save you next time, 'kay? Got it?"

"Got it, Lloyd."


	8. Rule 8: Baths

**Siren: YAY! Muse is back from vacation! (hugs)**

**Muse: I feel so loved.**

**Siren: You are. Also, I have discovered I have writer's block when you're not here.**

**Muse: That's why I'm named Muse!**

**Siren: Anyway, disclaimer!**

**Muse: Sirens & Muses do not own ToS, baths, or tired children.**

**Siren: Review, please!**

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Rule #8: Baths tire out children.

"Daddy?" Lloyd was walking around outside the inn, looking for Kratos. He spotted him and ran to his side. "Daddy!"

"Lloyd, what are you doing out here by yourself?" Kratos finished feeding Noishe and ruffled his son's hair. It was just outside the inn, but the little boy wasn't supposed to be wandering around.

"Mommy told me to get you," the little boy told him. "She says I'm gross an' is your turn to give me a bath."

Kratos sighed. "Alright, we'll go give you a bath."

Lloyd grinned happily and turned to lead the way to the inn. "I'm gonna go gets my guys an' stuff!"

Kratos chuckled lightly at his son. He knew that Lloyd preferred it when his father gave him a bath. Anna hated this particular motherly duty and rushed to get it done. Kratos let Lloyd take all the time he wanted to play in the bathtub.

Kratos went inside, where Lloyd met him, carrying a cup, soap, two towels, and his action figures, whom he called 'guys'.

"I gots my guys, Daddy!" The little boy excitedly led the way down the hall to the bathroom that was shared by the people staying at the inn.

Kratos began to fill the bathtub with warm water while his little boy stripped and tossed his toys in one by one, making noises as they hit.

"No, don't drown me!" he said in a squeaky voice. "No! Ahhh!"

Kratos lifted him up and set him gently in the bath water. Lloyd started to splash around, making his guys swim and fight. His shrill voice made sound effects as he knocked them off the edge of the tub, one by one, into the water.

After about twenty minutes, Kratos picked up the soap. "Come on, Lloyd, let's get you clean."

"Squeaky, squeaky clean!" he answered cheerfully. Then he held up his toys. "Are we gonna get my guys squeaky clean, too?"

"Of course," Kratos said, handing the soap to his son. "Here you go."

After washing each action figure and wrapping them into a small towel to dry, Kratos took the soap. "Your turn, Lloyd."

He lathered the soap on his hands and gently rubbed it over Lloyd. The boy giggled and put some soap on his hands and started to mimic his father, spreading the soap all over his arms and stomach.

When they finished, Kratos dunked a cup into the water and filled it. He doused his son with the water, washing away the soap. Lloyd laughed and splashed the water over his face. "Look, my face is all clean!"

"Squeaky clean," Kratos murmured, smiling. "Alright, let's wash your hair."

He squirted some of the soap into his son's spiky brown hair. Lloyd's face scrunched up as he closed his eyes tightly. "Don't get soap in my eyes, 'kay, Daddy?"

"I won't," Kratos answered soothingly. He scrubbed his son's hair, which was knotted and dirty. Lloyd whimpered as his hands ran through his hair, untangling it. Finally, water rushed over his head and he opened his eyes.

"There we go," Kratos said, satisfied that Lloyd was clean. "Okay, let's go get dressed and ready for bed."

"'Kay!" Lloyd giggled as he was lifted out of the tub and wrapped in a towel. "Daddy, I'm all wrinkly! My toes are all wrinkly, and my fingers, too!" He wiggled his extremities to prove it.

Kratos yanked the plug in the bathtub and gathered up their things. "Come on, Lloyd."

Lloyd grinned and pulled his towel around him tighter. They left the bathroom and started out into the hall.

Lloyd stopped dead in his tracks and took a few steps back into his father's legs. "Daddy…"

"What's wrong?"

"There's people out here…"

"What's the matter, Lloyd?" Kratos leaned down to look his son eye to eye. "Is something wrong?"

"Daddy, I'm all nakey!" he finally wailed. Kratos chuckled.

"It's fine, Lloyd. You're a little boy wrapped up in a towel. It's alright."

Slightly comforted by his father's words, Lloyd nodded and started to walk, glancing around nervously at the people they passed. One woman who was talking to a man waved cheerfully at him. He stopped.

"I'm not nakey," he informed her. "Look, I gots a towel, see? I'm not nakey. And neither are my guys. They's gots a towel, too."

"Well, that's good," she said, smiling.

Lloyd shuffled awkwardly along the hall, nodding to people and smiling. "I gots a towel," he told them. "Daddy says its okay, I gots a towel, I'm not nakey."

They reached their room, but before going in, Lloyd turned back. "Just so you guys know," he said loudly. "I'm not nakey. See my towel?"

Kratos smiled as the people laughed at his little boy. Lloyd nodded and went inside. Anna was sitting on the bed, sleeping. Kratos lifted his son up onto the foot of the bed and motioned for him to be quiet. Lloyd nodded.

Kratos pulled the towel off and dried him. Lloyd giggled as his father pulled the towel over his head and ruffled his hair, drying it. He shook his head, making the wet spikes of his hair whip around his head. He laughed again.

Kratos chuckled and found Lloyd's pajamas in their bags. The little boy held his arms up as Kratos pulled the blue nightshirt over his head. He helped Lloyd put on his underwear and pants.

"Okay," he whispered. "Time for bed."

Lloyd crawled up next to Anna. "Can I seep with you guys tonight, Daddy?"

Kratos ruffled his son's wet hair. "Just for tonight, Lloyd. Tomorrow, you have to sleep in your own bed, okay?"

"Okay!" he chirped, snuggling under the covers next to his mother. Kratos quickly changed into suitable sleep clothes and laid down next to his son. Lloyd looked up expectantly at his father. "Can I hear a story, Daddy? Please?"

Kratos stared down at Lloyd and sighed in defeat. He could never say no to his little boy. "A short one."

Lloyd clapped his hands happily. Anna stirred next to him. He quickly clapped his hand over his mouth and giggled. "Shhh," he told Kratos, pressing his fingers to his lips.

Kratos picked up a book. "Once upon a time…"

Lloyd listened, enthralled with his father's voice spinning the story. He stared at the pictures as Kratos told the story. He felt his eyes close. Finally, halfway through the story, Lloyd's head drooped onto his father's shoulder and he let out a tiny snore.

Kratos smiled and placed his hand on his son's head. He dropped the book on the floor and leaned back. He might as well get some sleep, too. After all, Lloyd was going to be up early tomorrow.


	9. Rule 9: Dress

**Siren: Oh.**

**Muse: My.**

**Both: God.**

**Siren: Two thousand hits total for this fic. 167 hits IN ONE DAY for this fic. Holy shit.**

**Muse: You guys are amazing.**

**Siren: So amazing, we're going to give you a parade.**

**(a parade of people marches in, complete with marching band, floats and banners that say 'GO FANS!', unicycle-riding monkeys juggling bottles of Mountain Dew, and those people who spin the batons)**

**Muse: What's with the monkeys?**

**Siren: Unfortunately, we're going to updating a little less frequently now that school's starting.**

**Muse: Real life is such a hassle.**

**Siren: Tell me about it. Anyway, we will try to update as much as possible, but since we don't like flunking out of high school, homework comes first.**

**Muse: Anyway, disclaimer time! Disclaimer: Sirens & Muses do not own ToS. We are working on a fantabulously convoluted plan to steal it from Namco, though.**

**Siren: Yeah, that plan's not going so great. Anyway, don't stop being awesome now! REVIEW!**

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_Rule #9: Children don't know how to dress themselves based on weather patterns. That's up to you._

"Do you think he's warm enough?" Anna smiled down at her sleeping son. Wrapped in two blankets, Lloyd was lying on the bed with his mouth hanging open and his hand on his head. It was a habit of his; when he was tired, he would twirl his hair.

Kratos sat on the bed next to Lloyd. The trio had just arrived in Flanoir, his son sleeping in Kratos' arms, Anna on a Rheaird next to them. When they'd left, Lloyd had been wide-awake.

Unfortunately, Lloyd had fallen asleep before they'd been close enough for him to see the snowy city. The last time they'd been here, Lloyd had been a baby, just able to walk. Kratos made an attempt at waking him to see the snow, but he just rolled over and gave a little snort. Kratos smiled at his son; he'd just have to wait until morning to see the little boy's reaction.

"He'll be fine. You should go to bed, Anna." He pulled her down next to him. "You look tired."

"I'm fine," she said, leaning against his arm. At that moment, she gave a large yawn.

"You see? You need some rest." He drew his arms around her and pulled her back, so that they were both on their backs next to Lloyd, with her head resting on his chest. In minutes, she was asleep, too.

Kratos fell into what he called 'sleep': his eyes closed and his mind wandering. The light doze he was in was all he felt he needed. He refused to let his guard down, even for a moment. The lightest touch would wake him, the smallest sound would make his eyes snap open. Anna always bugged him about sleep.

"It's not good for your health," she'd kept saying. "You need a real nap." After a while, Kratos had given in and gone to sleep on the couch. When he'd woken up, both Lloyd and Anna were lying next to him. Lloyd was drooling lightly on his shoulder, his arms wrapped around his father's neck. Anna was holding one of his hands with both of her own.

Kratos was ripped out of this memory by the sound of the blankets being moved and a tiny voice. "Daddy? Can I wake you up?"

He opened his eyes and gently sat up, careful not to wake Anna. It had been several hours; no more light shined through the windows and the fire had died down. He realized how cold it had become.

"What's wrong, Lloyd?"

"Daddy, I's really cold!" The little boy had the blankets drawn up to his neck.

Kratos ruffled his hair and stood up, gently setting Anna aside. As he began to re-start the fire, he heard Lloyd crawl out of bed. He could hear him ripping things out of the bags they'd never unpacked, probably looking for another blanket.

Kratos continued with the fire until he heard a door creaking open. He sighed. Lloyd had recently grown tall enough to reach most doorknobs, and was constantly opening doors, just because he could. "Lloyd," he murmured, standing and following his son outside.

Suddenly, Lloyd let loose a loud scream. Kratos rushed to his side. "What's wrong?" he asked, lifting his son up and holding him close. He scanned the area for anything suspicious, but saw nothing but the snow.

"Th-the white stuff!" Lloyd said shakily. He turned his head to bury his face in his father's shoulder.

"Lloyd," Kratos whispered comfortingly, "It's just snow. It won't hurt you."

"It will, Daddy! It will!" The little boy gripped his father's shirt tightly.

"Look," Kratos said, stepping out into the snow. Lloyd shook his head frantically.

"No, Daddy, don't!" he yelled, but Kratos rubbed his little one's back, quieting him.

"It's fine," he said soothingly. Lloyd glanced around hesitantly.

Kratos smiled and held his hand out, catching a snowflake. It melted almost immediately, but not before Lloyd had seen it. "Whoa," he said quietly. He squirmed in his father's arms to get down.

"It's so-so cool!" Lloyd squealed, holding out his hands. Snowflakes fell all over him, making him laugh. "Daddy, look!"

Kratos smiled as Lloyd poked his tongue out and caught snow on it. He walked over. "Look at this," he said, laying his son on the ground in the snow. "Now, move your arms and legs like this." He demonstrated.

Lloyd did as he was told. When he stood up to see, Kratos lifted him up higher, so that he would get the full view of his creation. Lloyd's eyes went big.

"Daddy!" he said, astonished. "It's you!"

Kratos chuckled. "No, Lloyd," he corrected. "It's your angel. You made him, so he's you."

"Me? Really?" Lloyd stared down at his angel. "I looks like that?"

Kratos smiled and set his toddler down. "Watch this."

He kneeled down on the ground, patting snow up into a ball. Lloyd watched curiously as his father packed it and began another smaller ball on top of it. And another one smaller than that on top of that one. He stared as Kratos took two sticks and put them into each side of the stack of snowballs, poked two holes in the top one, and made a curved line underneath the first two holes.

"Daddy, it's a person!" Lloyd shouted gleefully, staring up at it. "What's his name?"

"What do you think his name is, Lloyd?" Kratos asked.

"Hmm…" Lloyd squinted up at the snowman. "His name's…Moon!"

Kratos gave a snort of laughter. "Moon? Why's he named that?"

"Cause I don't know!" Lloyd said, shrugging. Suddenly, his three-year-old urge to throw something kicked in. "Can I do…this?" He picked up a handful of snow and tossed it at his father. It fell apart before it hit him.

"Like this," Kratos said, demonstrating the correct way to make a snowball. Lloyd mimicked his father.

"Okay," Lloyd said quietly. He launched the snowball into the air and hit Kratos' stomach. The older man gently tossed his weapon back. It brushed the top of Lloyd's head, snow catching in his hair. He giggled and flopped down on his back in the snow. Kratos laid down next to him.

The next half-hour consisted of father and son staring up at the stars, Lloyd listening as Kratos told him the stories of each constellation in the sky. Every once in a while, Lloyd would chirp, "I know that one!" or "That's so cool!"

Soon, too soon to Kratos, Lloyd's eyes drooped and his fingers began to entwine themselves in his hair. "Daddy…" he said sleepily. "I'm cold."

It was then that Kratos realized that neither Lloyd nor he had a coat. He quickly picked his son up and rushed him back home.

The fire had died back down, but it was warmer inside. Kratos laid Lloyd down and wrapped him a blanket. The boy was already asleep. He started the fire, and the temperature rose. He crawled into bed with his small family, holding Lloyd close to his chest and settling his other arm around Anna's shoulders.

The next morning found both father and son lying in bed with thermometers in their mouths and Anna force-feeding them cough syrup.

"Four thousand years," she muttered. "_Four thousand years_, and you haven't learned when to wear a coat."


	10. Rule 10: Words

**Muse: Wow, twenty some days and this is what we com up with? This short piece of crap about Lloyd's favorite word?**

**Siren: (sniffles)**

**Muse: You're still upset about what Tiger 002 said, aren't you?**

**Siren: (bursts into tears) HE IS NOT!! YOU HORRIBLE PERSON!!**

**Muse: Whatever. Ignore that, other readers. Discaimer time!**

**(poof) Barret: What the hell is this?**

**Siren: (cries more) Now you made me wanna play Final Fantasy again, and I DON'T HAVE A PLAYSTATION!**

**Barret: I'm not even from this game!**

**Muse: Just say the disclaimer.**

**Barret: Sirens & Muses do not own ToS or FF7. They do not own me, Lloyd, Kratos, Anna, or Yuan. However, they do own a tub of French Onion Dip and this bag of potato chips. (poof)**

**Siren: (blows nose) Review, please. (hands tissue to Muse)**

**Muse: Gross.**

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Rule #10: They always say the one thing you don't want them to.

"Look, Lloyd," Kratos said, holding out his son's shoe. "It's called a shoe. Can you say it? Shoe."

Lloyd turned his head to the side and giggled. Kratos sighed. Somehow, Anna had roped him into teaching Lloyd to speak something other than baby talk.

"Milpi!" Lloyd giggled and pointed to the shoe. His father shook his head.

"No. Shoe." Kratos held the shoe out again. Lloyd laughed.

"Milpi!"

Kratos sighed again and stood up. There was no use trying to teach his one-year-old to talk right; it'd be easier just to teach both worlds Lloyd-speak.

He handed his son a stuffed animal from his playpen, a dog. Lloyd grinned and hugged the toy tightly. Kratos chuckled a bit as the little boy began to play. He was making barking sounds and making the dog hop around. His father turned and went into his bedroom.

Anna was lying asleep on the bed, snoring lightly. Kratos worked as a mercenary, which meant he wasn't home as much as she was. Whenever he was home, she slept while he played with Lloyd. He didn't mind, really.

Kratos was leaning over to wake her up for dinner when he heard Lloyd speak in the next room. He said a full word, a real word. One that Kratos knew he shouldn't be saying.

"Basurd."

In the next instant, Lloyd was giggling as he watched his father loom over him. "Basurd!"

"Ah, Lloyd, no, don't say that." Kratos gingerly lifted his son up and held him up to eye level. "That's a bad word."

Lloyd stared into his father's eyes before laughing again. "Basurd! Basurd! Dadah basurd!"

Kratos sighed. He was going to hear it from Anna when she woke up. "Okay, listen. Shoe."

"Basurd!"

"No, shoe!"

"Basurd!"

Kratos closed his eyes and tried to think of where Lloyd had learned such a word. Anna was extremely careful around their son, as was Kratos. Who had taught him to say…?

"Yuan," he said viciously. Of course. Last week, they'd visited 'Uncle' Yuan to fix Anna's Reheird. He could remember how Yuan had somehow got onto the topic of Mithos. He'd called him a, 'ruthless, insane bastard who lacked a soul.'

"Lloyd, please, for Mommy, say shoe," Kratos begged his little one. Lloyd giggled again.

"Basurd!"

"Kratos?" Anna walked out to the bedroom, yawning. "How goes the talking?"

Kratos froze, trying to come up with a suitable explanation. Whether Yuan had said it or not, he knew he'd get blamed.

"Listen," he began, trying to figure out how to disguise his son's newly learned word. "Lloyd-"

"Soo."

Both adults stared at their son. He laughed again. "Soo, Ma."

"Oh, shoe!" Anna cried happily. "Good boy!"

She ruffled Lloyd's hair before going into the bathroom. Kratos glanced down at the little boy.

"Dadah Basurd!"

"Of course," Kratos grumbled. "_I'm_ the bastard."


	11. Rule 11: Forgetfulness

**Muse: Fiddler On The Roof, anyone?**

**Siren: Well, this sucked.**

**Muse: No, it didn't.**

**Siren: Yeah, it did. It's not even 600 words!**

**Muse: Yeah, but that doesn't mean it sucked.**

**Siren: Yes, it does. Disclaimer!**

**Muse: (yawn) Listen, too tired to poof anyone this time. I'll do it. Disclaimer: Sirens & Muses don't own ToS.**

**Siren: Sleeeeeeepy...Review.**

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_Rule #11: Don't forget the baby._

They had to get out of there, and fast. The Desians were headed their way. Kratos began hastily shoving items into bags, while Anna soothed their newborn son. His hysterical cries only got louder as she shushed him.

"Don't cry, no, everything's fine!" she whispered, bouncing him. He cried harder, his face turning red. She sighed and laid him down on the bed.

Kratos was intently packing things. He hated the noise his son made; it gave him a headache. But it wasn't as if it could be avoided.

Anna started to help him, letting Lloyd cry on, because it didn't seem like he was any calmer when she held him. They had packed about half of their things before Lloyd had stopped crying and fallen asleep on a pillow.

"Okay," Anna said, running her fingers through her hair. "All we need are a few supplies from the store-"

"They can't wait?" Kratos asked agitatedly.

"No, I find food a high priority. It really can't wait."

"Ah, right," he muttered.

"I'll go buy them," Anna said. "You get everything ready to go and meet me at the entrance of town in ten minutes." She kissed him and rushed out the door.

Kratos continued his frantic scrambling to get their stuff together, ignoring his son, who was completely silent except for his breathing. He finished up and headed out.

Anna was already waiting for him, bag of groceries in hand. He unlocked Noishe's pen and loaded everything up while she stood there, impatiently waiting.

"Right," he said, patting Noishe's back. "Get on and let's go."

They left town, following the trail. It was five minutes before Anna realized something.

"Kratos," she asked him quietly, "Where is Lloyd?"

Kratos stopped dead in his tracks, but didn't answer her. She pointed furiously back towards town. "Go back and get him!"

He sprinted back towards town, trying to act nonchalant as he passed a group of Desians who were hanging a wanted poster of him up, and headed into the inn. After a hasty explanation and apology to the owner of the inn, who'd found Lloyd still asleep on the bed, he took his son in his arms and rushed back to where Anna waited for him.

"I got him," he said as she sighed angrily.

"From now on, I'm going to be in charge of getting Lloyd, okay, Kratos?," she muttered as they headed on. "Especially since this is, what? The fourth time this month you've forgotten him? Am I counting right?"

Kratos didn't answer her.

"That's what I thought."


	12. Rule 12: Cute

**Siren: Can you say FLUFF?!**

**Muse: No!**

**Siren: Well, of course, your tiny brain can't figure it out.**

**Muse: Disclaimer! Sirens & Muses do not own ToS. 'Nuff said.**

**Siren: If you don't review, Muse's brain will get smaller. And that, my friends, is really an incredible feat.**

**Muse: You're emotionally abusive to me.**

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Siren: Oh, look, a typo.

Muse: tiger 002 pointed out to us that the chapter is #12, but our rule says #13.

Siren: So we changed it. All better now!

**Muse: Commence with the reading!**

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_Rule #12: The only baby you'll ever think is cute is yours_.

"You're going to be a horrendous father, you know."

"Thank you for that vote of confidence, Yuan."

Yuan sipped his coffee. "Just telling you."

Kratos made a face. "I have to admit, I agree with you. I have never been one to like children."

"Babies are quite ugly," Yuan responded.

Kratos thought back. Over the centuries, he'd seen many newborns, but he failed to see how people thought they were cute. Red and wrinkled, they cried, made faces, and had no teeth. They looked more like a foreign alien than a human being.

"I've never really seen the appeal of having children," Kratos said. "I suppose to preserve my genes, but really, they're a nuisance."

"Then why are you having one?"

"Well, Yuan, that thought didn't occur to me at the time."

"What thought was occurring to you?"

The doctor came out of the delivery room where the two men were waiting, sparing Kratos from an answer. "Mr. Aurion? Your wife is awake, and your son is fine."

"I hope your child isn't too misshapen," Yuan said as he left.

Kratos sighed. He walked into the delivery room and saw Anna lying on the bed, a tiny bundle cradled in her arms. Now, he was going to have to deal with a baby, a small embodiement of noise, unattractiveness, and smells. And what would the baby grow up to be? Some smart-ass, dumb, teenage-

Kratos stopped his thoughts when he looked at his son. He was asleep in his mother's arms, his mouth twitching in his sleep.

"Look, Kratos," Anna whispered. "It's our son."

The little boy looked exactly like every other baby boy he'd ever seen. But something about this one was different. Long, dark eyelashes, a tuft of spiky brown hair, and a tiny nose. His skin was discolored and wrinkled, his limbs were skinny and weak-looking, his head looked a little to big for his body, but to Kratos, he looked beautiful.

He didn't say anything as he sat on the edge of the bed and stroked the baby's cheek. What were they going to name him? "Lloyd," he murmured.

In response, Lloyd snorted a little bit and woke up. _Here we go_, Kratos thought. _Time for the crying, the drooling, and all those other little baby things._

Lloyd looked up at his father, but made no sound. "What's wrong with him?" Kratos asked. "Why isn't he crying?" His mind immediately took to scenarios of something wrong with his child.

"He's just quiet, I guess," Anna said, smiling. "Hold him."

"No, I don't want to." Kratos was surprised that she would want him to do so. Didn't she know that he didn't like babies, and vice versa?

"He's your son," she urged. "Take him."

Gingerly, Kratos took Lloyd. He put his finger down to stroke his skin, but was stopped. Lloyd's hand placed itself directly in the middle of his father's palm, making a tiny fist. Kratos curled his fingers over it. Lloyd seemed content with this, moving his head a little bit and closing his eyes. Kratos clasped his son's hand, marveling at how small it was compared to his.

"Isn't he adorable?" Anna said quietly. "He just seems so…" She struggled for the right word. "…Perfect."

"Perfect," Kratos repeated.


	13. Rule 13: Candy

**Siren: Okay, seriously, there is no way you didn't see this one coming.**

**Muse: Happy Halloween!**

**Siren: That's right, it's a Halloween special! YAY!**

**(silence)**

**Siren: You suck so bad, cyberspace.**

**Muse: You know, I wasn't allowed to trick-or-treat until I was fourteen.**

**Siren: That's because your mother thought that all people were out to murder little children dressed in silly costumes by giving them candy laced with rat poison. It's a good thing you knew me. Otherwise, you'd have no idea what candy tasted like.**

**Muse: What makes this conversation even sadder is the fact that it's true.**

**(poof) Jack Skellington: Happy Halloweeeeeeen! Disclaimer: Sirens & Muses do not own Tales of Symphonia or The Nightmare Before Christmas.**

**Siren: Yeah. That's right. We're awesome enough that we can get The Pumpkin King to do our disclaimers. **

**Muse: (sneeze) Bullshit!**

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Rule #13: Ration the candy.

"What exactly is this holiday again?" Kratos asked.

"It's called 'Halloween,' and its going to be fun," Anna said, sewing faster.

"This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of," her husband mumbled. "We dress our child up in a crazy costume and parade him around to strangers' houses so that he can get free candy."

"First of all," Anna pointed out, "Lloyd's costume is not crazy. I think its sweet."

"Yes, well, he's not going to look like a miniature _you_, is he?" Kratos interrupted quietly. She ignored him.

"Secondly, its fun! Lloyd gets to have a good time and get some candy in the process, too." Anna finished sewing. "Done! Do you have any idea how hard it was to sew this thing? Lloyd!"

Lloyd came padding down the stairs, as if he'd been listening the entire time, waiting to hear that his costume was done. "Hi, Mommy!" he chirped.

"I'm all done with your costume, honey," she said sweetly. Kratos rolled his eyes. She was a lot sweeter to their son than him. "Try it on."

Lloyd clapped his hands, bouncing over to shove his costume on. When he was finished, he ran to his father's side. "Look, Daddy, doesn't I look cool?"

Kratos smiled down at his son. He had to admit, the costume was perfect. An all white shirt and pants outfit, with half a dozen of yellow belts attached. And, of course, the fake blue wings.

Anna kneeled down with a hairbrush. "Okay, let's fix your hair like Daddy's…" After a few moments of brushing, Lloyd's hair was hanging down over his face. He looked alarmingly like Kratos.

Lloyd grabbed Kratos' hand and didn't let go until they were at the first house. He held his bag out and yelled, "Trick or treat!" and was rewarded with a chocolate bar. Grinning, he headed back down the walkway to his parents.

"Look, Daddy!" he giggled. "I gots candy!"

The night continued on like this for the next hour and a half. The sky turned dark; it got colder. As the crowds of trick-or-treaters thinned, Lloyd started to lean more and more against his father's leg. Soon, he was placed gently on Kratos' shoulders, where he began to drool sugar slobber on his hair. After a while, they'd circled the entire town.

"Did you have a good time, Lloyd?" Anna asked. Lloyd mumbled something, but it was completely unrecognizable, as his mouth was stuffed with a fruity sugar-based product. Anna kissed him goodnight and went to bed.

Kratos sat down on the couch with his son beside him, watching as Lloyd slowly devoured about a pound of chocolate, sour gummies, and lolipops. Finally, the three-year-old groaned and fell against his father, eyes half-closed.

Kratos frowned. Surely no one had put some kind of poison into the candy. Maybe some of the candy was old. He checked in the bag, but all of it was gone. He glanced down at his son. He wasn't more than forty pounds; how'd he eaten all of that candy?

Kratos sighed. That was probably the reason for the mild coma Lloyd was in now. He picked him up, careful not to upset his stomach, and placed him in his bed. The little boy was already asleep.

The next morning, Anna woke to the sound of her son groaning. She went out of the room and was greeted by candy wrappers. Lots of them. She checked the candy bag. All gone.

"Kratos?" she called. He answered from Lloyd's room. "Tell me, when did you become stupid?" She walked into the room and saw Lloyd lying on his bed, clutching his stomach and her husband with a slightly confused face.

"Do you think he has the flu or something?" Kratos asked anxiously.

"No," she replied. "I think he has an idiot for a father."


	14. Rule 14: Revenge

**Siren: Whoo! 4404 hits!...and only two reviews. Nice.**

**Muse: I seriously cannot believe this story is that popular.**

**Siren: You negative bastard.**

**Muse: You know, this is getting dangerous for me. Last time we updated this fic, someone tried to poison me with suspicious candy.**

**Siren: That's how I'd wanna die: on a sugar high and dressed up like a slutty witch.**

**Muse: Disclaimer! Sirens & Muses don't own ToS.**

**Siren: Hey, you know what? Threats aren't working. If you guys review, I promise I'll review some of your stories. (makes puppy dog eyes) PWEASES?**

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Rule #14: They will get their revenge.

"Hold still, Lloyd," Anna said, easing her son's tiny head back. "You don't want me to cut your ear, do you?"

"Mommy," Lloyd whined. "I don't want a haircut. I like my hair." He turned to his father, a look of distress clear upon his face. "Daddy, tell her!"

"Stop moving, or I'm going to take your ear off!" Anna jerked his head back in line. Lloyd whimpered.

"If my ear is cut off, will I bleeds?" he questioned his Kratos.

"Keep moving, and you'll find out," Anna muttered.

Kratos sighed. "Lloyd, listen to you mother. She knows what she's doing, I think."

"Shut it," she said, snapping the scissors threateningly. "Or you'll be missing an appendage more important than your ear."

"Is Daddy getting his hair cut, too?" Lloyd said, looking up at his mother, who sighed.

"Yes, Lloyd. Now, hold still!"

Seconds later, Lloyd asked, "Mommy, why don't you needs a haircut?"

"Because," she said smoothly, "I'm a girl, and we look nicer with long hair."

"Looks are deceiving," Kratos said under his breath. Anna shot him a look.

"Watch your step." She snipped the scissors in his direction again.

"Can I go yet?" Lloyd whined. Anna sighed exasperatedly.

"Fine, Lloyd, your hair looks fine." Lloyd jumped up from the chair and sat protectively in his father's lap.

"You can't cut Daddy's hair," he stated defiantly. "I likes it! If you do, I'll-I'll…" Lloyd looked up, trying to think of a suitable punishment. Finally, he grinned. "I'll chop all of your hair off, Mommy."

"Lloyd," Kratos said quietly. "I don't mind having short hair."

"But-but…" Lloyd sputtered to a stop.

"Just think of it this way," the older man said soothingly. "With shorter hair, I'll look just like you."

A smile broke across the little boy's face. "Really, Daddy? You wanna be like me?"

Kratos nodded. Lloyd clapped his hands. "Okay, gets a haircut so you can look just like me!"

Lloyd took off, heading for the spot where Noishe napped comfortably on a rug. Kratos took his place in the seat, his back facing Anna. She began to trim the redhead's spiky locks.

"You know," Kratos said, "I don't really mind having longer hair."

"Please," Anna scoffed. "Do you have any idea how much effort goes into long hair? You have to take care of it; it's not like your hair style of just brushing it in the morning."

Fifteen minutes later, Kratos approached his playing toddler with his hair a good inch and half shorter. His hair stuck up at odd angles, making him look more like his son than he ever had. One particular spike, which had fallen across his eyes, now didn't reach that far down.

Lloyd's mouth fell open at the sight of his father. "Daddy," he trembled. "Daddy, your hair's all gone…"

"It's all right, Lloyd," Kratos said, picking him up. "It's just hair. It'll grow back."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Lloyd glared at his mother when they went past. "You cut off Daddy's hair," he said accusingly, pointing a finger. Anna rolled her eyes and kissed his forehead.

After putting Lloyd to bed, Kratos went out into the living room, trying to flatten one particularly annoying piece of hair that felt odd.

"I'm going to the store," he said, kissing Anna and pulling on his jacket.

"Bed," she announced, yawning. "Love you."

Kratos was out almost an hour, gathering supplies they would need for the next leg of their journey. When he came back, he heard a strange snapping sound, followed by stifled giggles.

"Lloyd?" he called, walking into his room. It was totally dark, not suprisingly. "Lloyd, what are you doing up?"

Lloyd looked up. "I's just saying goodnight to Mommy," he said innocently.

Kratos sighed and pointed to the toddler's bedroom. "Go to sleep. It's very late."

Lloyd nodded and shuffled out of the room while Kratos crawled up beside his wife.

The next morning, Kratos woke as Anna stumbled out of bed, like any other morning. He didn't open his eyes, just muttered a 'good morning' to her.

Suddenly, she screamed. Loudly.

"What is it?!" Kratos jerked out of bed and grabbed for his sword on the floor beside it. "Anna?!"

"My-my hair…" Kratos sighed and felt his heartbeat slow down again.

"Don't do that," he said angrily, stomping into the bathroom to speak to Anna. Then he caught sight of her face, staring at her reflection, and broke into snorts of laughter.

"Shut up!" she said, patting the left side of her head, where her chestnut hair used to be long and thick. The right side was _still_ long and thick. "Did you do this?!"

"I tolds you!" Both turned to see Lloyd standing in his pajamas. Kratos suddenly connected the strange snapping sounds he'd heard last night to his son. "I tolds you, Mommy, that I'd chop all your hairs off!"

"You're lucky you're so damn cute," she growled. "It's the only reason you're alive right now."

"Come on," Kratos said, still suppressing laughter. "I'll cut the other side short so that it looks normal."

"It'll never look normal," Anna said sadly.

"Well," Kratos answered, "Think of it this way. At least now, you don't have to put so much effort into your hair."

"Not helping, Kratos."


	15. Rule 15: Panic

**Siren: Ohmygodohmygodohmygod. We're down to five!**

**Muse: You know, I'm going to miss this fic.**

**Siren: I know. (cries)**

**Muse: We still have time left, you know. By the way, why is Anna always asleep in this fic?**

**Siren: Because, Muse, conciousness is not required for raising small children. That's what men are for.**

**Muse: She always gets the last word, too.**

**Siren: That's because shut up.**

**Muse: Disclaimer!**

**(poof) Raine: Sirens & Muses do not own ToS.**

**Siren: You are a neutral character. You may live. (waves hand dismissively)**

**Raine: 'Kay. (poofs away)**

**Siren: Ah, the joy of reviews.**

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_Rule #15: As a parent, you will get a crash course on panic attacks._

Kratos had never been a particularly anxious person. He thought ahead, considered all of the setbacks that were possible in a plan. He could be considered a pessimist. It had never been like this before, though.

It started the day they brought Lloyd home. The two new parents put him into a cradle at the foot of the bed before laying down for their own sleep. But soon, Kratos found himself up and about, checking on his son.

It started as Kratos just wanting to see him again, because he loved to look at the boy. But as he watched him sleep, his mind began to work against him.

Kratos had heard about a disease in which completely healthy babies simply died in their sleep for no real reason. He remembered that babies who slept on their stomachs were more likely to be affected. Hastily, he flipped his sleeping son over and checked his heartbeat.

He intended to go back to bed, but his mind was already reeling. He tried to read a book, but found himself thinking more and more about Lloyd…

_What if he spits up? _Kratos thought. _He's lying on his back; he could choke._

And so, Kratos found himself once again repositioning his child, this time on his side. As he did this, he realized at this might hurt the baby's tiny arm and shoulder. He was about to simply pick him up and hold him when he heard a voice.

"Kratos?" Anna sat up. "What are you doing?"

"I was just…checking on Lloyd."

Anna got up, alarmed. "What? Is he alright?"

"He's fine," Kratos soothed. "I just thought he would be safer if I held him while he slept."

Anna blinked. "Why?"

"Babies aren't supposed to sleep on their stomachs, but if he sleeps on is back and spits up, he could choke." As he said it out loud, Kratos felt a twinge of stupidity.

"Why would he spit up in his sleep?" Anna asked.

"I…never mind. He's fine, I'm being ridiculous."

"Yes, you are. Now come back to bed."

Kratos did just that. After an hour or so, after Anna had fallen back asleep, his angelic hearing picked up a whimper.

"Lloyd," he whispered, and was staring down at the cradle in seconds. Lloyd was moving his arms, his face scrunched up. He wasn't crying yet, but working his way up to it. Kratos reached down and picked him up, pacing with him.

"Shh, shh," the father murmured, patting him on the back. As he did so, his mind went to scenarios of death. _What if he's having a seizure or something? _Kratos thought with distress. _Or if he's sick?_

Kratos tried to dismiss himself as being silly, but it didn't work. _What if there are side affects from Anna's Exsphere? Or mine? I am an angel, after all. Did the doctor forget something? Did we forget something? Did we take him home to soon?_

Kratos' musings were cut short by Lloyd letting out a gentle cough. Kratos inhaled sharply before holding his son at arms length to examine him. There was no outward sign of any problem. He check his tiny throat: nothing obstructing it. He placed his hand on the little boy's forehead. Now that he thought about it, Lloyd _did_ seem a little warm.

_Maybe he has the flu, _Kratos thought. He reached over and shook his wife awake.

"Anna!" he hissed urgently. Her eyes popped open.

"What?" she asked groggily, sitting up. She saw Lloyd in his arms and gasped. "What's wrong? Is he okay?"

"I think he has the flu."

"…What?"

"The flu. Didn't some people have it in Triet?"

"Kratos, we're in Asgard!"

"That doesn't mean anything. Diseases spread fast." Kratos furrowed his brow and glanced down at Lloyd.

"Why do you think he would have the flu?"

"He coughed. And he's warm, feel his cheek."

She did. "Kratos…he's normal. In fact, he's so normal, you should put him back to bed, because he doesn't have the flu."

Kratos sighed. "You're right. I'll lay him down."

As he laid back down beside her, Lloyd let out another cough. Kratos bolted up, but was caught by his shirt by Anna.

"Don't you dare get up from this bed, he's fine!" she growled, yanking him back.

For the next half an hour, Kratos shifted restlessly in bed. Finally, he whispered Anna's name. With no response, he stood up and checked on Lloyd again.

He slept on peacefully, but the coughing worried Kratos. He leaned down and lifted the little boy carefully from his cradle.

"Shh," he shushed again as Lloyd whimpered and squirmed slightly. Kratos sat down on the edge of the bed and rocked his son back to sleep.

When Anna awoke several hours later, Kratos was in exactly the same place, still holding Lloyd, with the same worried expression as the night before.

"What's wrong now?" she asked. Kratos turned to her with a stony expression.

"I've been thinking about it all night," he said quietly. "I think Lloyd has an ulcer."

"Please tell me this isn't going to be a constant thing with you."


	16. Rule 16: Christmas

**Muse: I know what you're thinking. Why the hell are they putting up a Christmas chapter now?**

**Siren: Suck it up. We had shit to do.**

**Muse: Anyway, long story short, we got distracted by various Christmas-themed crises.**

**Siren: Like LOSING a Christmas tree. How do you do that? It's a giant freaking tree! How do you lose it?!**

**Muse: Shut up, Siren. Disclaimer!**

**(poof) Random Lawyer: The first party, Sirens & Muses, do not own anything mentioned in this fanfiction, such as the second party, Tales of Symphonia, that is not an original thought. They have written it solely to entertain and inform the public. (poof)**

**Siren: Whoa, hardcore disclaimer. Review, please!**

**Muse: And Merry late Christmas!**

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Rule #16: Christmas makes children hyper, and usually, more talkative than normal.

"All I'm saying is that it wouldn't hurt for you to show a little holiday cheer, and Lloyd, so help me, if you do that one more time, I'm going to string you up and use you as an ornament." Anna stepped back from her work, brushing her hair out of her face. Kratos sighed and continued reading.

Anna was decorating the Christmas tree Kratos had managed to find and get inside the inn room. Two-year-old Lloyd was shaking the tree in an attempt at getting the candy canes off. Every once and a while, one would fall from a branch, sending Lloyd skidding across the floor to reach it before his mother did.

"And all I'm saying," Kratos said, "is no."

Anna snatched the book out of his hands. "Put it on."

"No."

"Yes."

"No, Anna!"

"You're going to put it on, or else…" She glanced at Lloyd before bending down and whispering in Kratos' ear. He flinched slightly as she leaned away, smiling.

"You wouldn't dare," he said, ignoring the confused look from his son.

"Try me. And just think, that's not even the worst I can do to you." She crossed her arms. "So, are you going to wear it?"

The pair glared at each other for a few moments, before Kratos finally sighed in defeat.

"…I'll wear the hat. And _only_ the hat."

Anna pouted, but didn't press the issue further. She tossed him the red and white Santa hat, which he put on with a sour sigh.

"Daddy, reads me the story again," Lloyd giggled, climbing into the older man's lap.

"Lloyd, you've heard it a million times."

"Pwease, Daddy?" Lloyd gave his cutest face. "Again?"

Kratos sighed with a smile. "Alright. Go get it."

Lloyd leapt off the couch and into the bedroom. He returned a moment later carrying the thin children's book. Anna sat down beside Kratos and lifted her son in between them.

"Go ahead, Daddy!" Lloyd said excitedly. Kratos cleared his throat.

_"Every Who  
Down in Who-ville  
Liked Christmas a lot...  
But the Grinch,  
Who lived just North of Who-ville,  
Did not."_

"Daddy?" Lloyd interuppted.

"Yes?"

"Is the Grinch Unca Yuan?" he asked.

"…I don't know, Lloyd. You'd have to ask him." Kratos continued.

_"The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!  
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.  
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.  
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.  
But I think that the most likely reason of all  
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small."_

"Yeah, is Unca Yuan," Lloyd confirmed.

_"But, whatever the reason,  
His heart or his shoes,  
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos,  
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown  
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.  
For he knew every Who down in Who-ville beneath  
Was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath.  
'And they're hanging their stockings!' he snarled with a sneer."_

"Daddy, you have to do the voice," Lloyd interrupted again. Kratos sighed and cleared his throat again, making his voice deeper and more evil-sounding for his son.

_"'And they're hanging their stockings!' he snarled with a sneer.  
'Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!'  
__Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,  
'I must find a way to keep Christmas from coming!'  
For, tomorrow, he knew  
All the Who girls and boys  
Would wake up bright and early. They'd rush for their toys!"_

"Daddy, am I gonna get toys?" Lloyd asked.

"Were you a good boy this year?"

"No."

"Then ask your mother." Kratos kept going with the story.

_"And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!  
That's one thing he hated! The noise, noise, noise, noise!  
Then the Whos, young and old, would sit down to a feast.  
And they'd feast! And they'd feast!  
And they'd feast, feast, feast, feast!  
They would start on Who-pudding, and rare Who roast beast  
Which was something the Grinch couldn't stand in the least!"_

"Daddy, what's roast beast?"

"It's food, Lloyd. Do you want me to read this or not?"

"Daddy!" Lloyd moaned. "Keep going!"

_"And then they'd do something he liked least of all!  
Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,  
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.  
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing!"_

"Are we gonna sing?" Lloyd asked.

"No," Kratos said shortly.

_"They'd sing! And they'd sing!  
And they'd sing, sing, sing, sing!  
And the more the Grinch thought of the Who-Christmas-Sing  
The more the Grinch thought, 'I must stop this whole thing!  
'Why for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!'"_

"I think you're lying about your age," Anna teased. Lloyd pinched her.

"Shh! Daddy's readin'!"

_"'I must stop Christmas from coming!  
But how?'  
Then he got an idea!  
An awful idea!  
The Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea!  
'I know just what to do!' The Grinch laughed in his throat.  
And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat."_

"Daddy, you're wearing a Sany Caws hat."

"Yes, Lloyd, what about it?"

"Daddy, are you the Grinch?"

"…No, Lloyd."

"Are you sure?" Lloyd asked suspiciously.

"I'm sure, Lloyd."

_"And he chuckled, and clucked, 'What a great Grinchy trick!  
With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick!  
All I need is a reindeer...'  
The Grinch looked around.  
But since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.  
Did that stop the old Grinch...?  
No! The Grinch simply said,  
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"  
So he called his dog Max-"_

"Noishe," Lloyd corrected.

_"So he called his dog Noishe,  
Then he took some red thread  
And he tied a big horn on top of his head.  
Then he loaded some bags  
And some old empty sacks  
On a ramshakle sleigh  
And he hitched up old Max-"_

"Noishe."

_"Noishe. Then the Grinch said, 'Giddyap!'  
And the sleigh started down  
Toward the homes where the Whos  
Lay a-snooze in their town._

_All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.  
All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care  
When he came to the first house in the square.  
'This is stop number one,' The old Grinchy Claus hissed  
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.  
Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.  
But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch."_

"How does Sany Caws fit down the chimney?" Lloyd asked.

"He's Santa. He's magical!" Anna answered. Kratos continued.

_"He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.  
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue  
Where the little Who stockings all hung in a row.  
'These stockings,' he grinned, 'are the first things to go!'  
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,  
Around the whole room, and he took every present!"_

Lloyd then grinned happily and joined in with his father, reciting the presents by heart:

_"Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!  
Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!_

_And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,  
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!  
Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos' feast!  
He took the Who-pudding! He took the roast beast!  
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.  
Why, that Grinch even took their last can of Who-hash!_

_Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.  
'And now!' grinned the Grinch, 'I will stuff up the tree!'  
And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove  
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.  
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who!  
Little Cindy-Lou Who, who was not more than two."_

"That's how olds I am!" Lloyd said excitedly.

_"The Grinch had been caught by this little Who daughter  
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.  
She stared at the Grinch and said, 'Santy Claus, why,  
Why are you taking our Christmas tree? Why?'_

"Daddy doesn't sound like a girl," Lloyd said, frowning. "Mommy, you do it."

Anna smiled and made her voice falsetto. "Santy Claus, why, why are you taking our Christmas tree? Why?"

"That's better!" Lloyd said cheerfully, turning back to the book.

_"But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick  
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!  
'Why, my sweet little tot,' the fake Santy Claus lied,  
'There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side.  
So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear.  
I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here.'  
And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head  
And he got her a drink and he sent her to bed._

_And when Cindy-Lou Who went to bed with her cup,  
He went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!  
Then the last thing he took  
Was the log for their fire.  
Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar.  
On their walls he left nothing but hooks, and some wire.  
And the one speck of food  
That he left in the house  
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse."_

"Alligator," Lloyd corrected.

"Lloyd, that doesn't rhyme," Kratos reminded him.

"Daddy, you can make it rhyme!" Lloyd insisted. Kratos sighed and repeated the last lines.

_"And the one speck of food  
That he left in the house  
Was a crumb that was even too small for an alligator…ouse."_

"Creative," Anna snickered. Kratos ignored her.

_"Then he did the same thing  
To the other Whos' houses  
Leaving crumbs  
Much too small  
For the other Whos' …alligator-ouses._

_It was quarter past dawn..._  
_All the Whos, still a-bed  
All the Whos, still a-snooze  
When he packed up his sled,  
Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!  
The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!_

_Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mount Crumpit,  
He rode to the tiptop to dump it!  
'Pooh-pooh to the Whos!' he was grinch-ish-ly humming.  
'They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!'_

_'They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!  
Their mouths will hang open a minute or two  
The all the Whos down in Who-ville will all cry boo-hoo!'_

_'Now, that's a noise,' grinned the Grinch,  
'That I simply must hear!'  
So he paused. And the Grinch put a hand to his ear."_

"Daddy, you have to put your hanny up." Lloyd demonstrated. Kratos mimicked him, making the little boy smile.

_"And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.  
It started in low. Then it started to grow...  
But the sound wasn't sad!  
Why, this sound sounded merry!  
It couldn't be so!  
But it was merry! Very!_

_He stared down at Who-ville!  
The Grinch popped his eyes!  
Then he shook!  
What he saw was a shocking surprise!_

_Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,  
Was singing! Without any presents at all!  
He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming!  
It came!  
Somehow or other, it came just the same!_

_And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,  
Stood puzzling and puzzling: 'How could it be so?  
It came without ribbons! It came without tags!  
It came without packages, boxes or bags!'  
And he puzzled three hours, 'till his puzzler was sore."_

"What's a puzzer?" Lloyd asked.

"Lloyd, I won't have time to finish if you keep interrupting," Kratos said.

"Sorry, Daddy, I won't innerup any more."

_"Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!  
'Maybe Christmas,' he thought, 'doesn't come from a store.  
Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more.'_

_And what happened then...?  
Well, in Who-ville they say  
That the Grinch's small heart  
Grew three sizes that day!"_

"Is Unca Yuan's heart gonna grow?" Lloyd asked, unable to restrain himself.

"Probably not, Lloyd," Kratos answered.

_"And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,  
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light  
And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!  
And he, he himself,  
The Grinch carved the roast beast. The end."_

Kratos closed the book while Lloyd clapped happily. "Okay," Anna said, "Time for little boys to get to bed. Santa's gonna come soon!"

Lloyd bounced up and down in his seat. "And is he gonna bring me presents?"

"If you're a good boy and go to bed. But if you don't, Santa'll bring you a lump of coal," Anna said, as Kratos lifted Lloyd up and carried him into his bedroom. "Good night, sweetheart."

"Daddy, what's a yumpacol?" Lloyd asked his father.

"A lump of coal, Lloyd. It's a piece of the black stuff we use in our fire."

"Really?" the toddler asked. "I like that stuff! It's fun to play with!"

"Time for bed," he said hastily. "Are you excited about your Christmas presents, Lloyd?"

Lloyd frowned. "Daddy?"

"Yes, Lloyd?"

"Is the Grinch gonna steal my presents?"

Kratos chuckled. "No, Lloyd, your presents are fine."

"What about my roast beast and my yumpacol?" the little boy asked worriedly.

"Don't worry, the Grinch won't steal anything. I promise."

"Okay. Goodnight, Daddy."

"Goodnight, Lloyd," Kratos said, kissing his son's forehead.

"Merry Kissmas, Daddy."

"Merry Christmas, Lloyd."


	17. Rule 17: Eat

**Siren: Well, this is short.**

**Muse: Yeah...and it's not really funny...**

**Siren: Ah, well. It's 2:51 AM. I'm too tired to think any harder.**

**Muse: Disclaimer!**

**(poof) Roy Mustang: Sirens & Muses don't own ToS or me.**

**Siren: I think I'll buy you and lock you in my basement.**

**Muse: It's starting to get crowded down there.**

**Mustang: Nothat'scoolI'mouttaherebye. (poof)**

**Siren: Review, please!**

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_Rule #17: Children try to eat everything._

Kratos had seen many strange things in his long, long life. None of it compared to the list of things Lloyd would put in his mouth.

There were normal kid things: coins, crayons, spiders, dog food. Then there were just weird things, like pieces of shoelace, small pebbles, ABC gum from underneath a restaurant table, and his own hair. It seemed like the only things Lloyd wouldn't eat were tomatoes.

The little boy had a strange habit of biting Noishe's tail and ears as well. He would sit, watching the tail silently as it swished past his face, before finally grabbing it and shoving it in his mouth. He would climb on Noishe's back and chew happily on the creature's ears while Noishe whined loudly.

As he grew older, Lloyd's fascination with tasting strange things grew with him. He found he liked the taste of certain shampoos and soaps; when giving him a bath, Kratos would sometimes find bite marks in the soap. If he got a scratch that required a band-aid, he would pull it off and pop it in his mouth, smiling the entire time. He plucked buttons and buckles off his parents' clothes and swallowed them before Kratos could stop him. Stud earrings that Anna kept on her dressing would mysteriously go missing and wind up in Lloyd's diaper. It seemed like there was nothing Lloyd wouldn't try.

So, at three years old, Kratos didn't find it strange that the only thing his little boy would drink was milk with mustard in it. Or that he was eating scrambled eggs with chocolate chips and peanut butter. However, there was one thing that Kratos refused to let Lloyd eat, a seemingly innocuous thing compared to the rest, something his son wanted desperately to try.

"No, Lloyd," Kratos said, smacking his son's hand away.

"Why not?" he whined.

"Because it's Mommy's candy, not yours," Kratos answered. "You're too little to eat hard candy. You could choke."

"I's not gonna choke, Daddy!" Lloyd said, puffing out his chest. "I'm a big boy!"

"Lloyd, stop it," Kratos muttered.

Lloyd pouted before finally asking, "Daddy?"

"Hmm?"

"Can you makes me summing else to eat?"

Kratos nodded and stood up. "Of course, Lloyd. What would you like?"

"A ham samich. With stawberries!"

Kratos left into the kitchen to make Lloyd his lunch. He expected to hear tiny footsteps padding after him. Instead, he heard a strange rustling sound. At first, he was confused. About thirty seconds later, when he heard a coughing sound, it hit him.

Kratos had only run so fast a few times in his life, most of them involving his son. When he reached Lloyd, the little boy was gasping for air as he clutched his throat. Kratos grabbed him from behind and smacked his back. Lloyd gagged and sputtered as Kratos put his hands on his stomach and squeezed. After a few tries, Lloyd let out a wet-sounding cough and hacked up a spit covered mint candy. Still panting, the toddler leaned into his father's arms, crying.

"Daddy, I's sorry," he sniffled. "I won do it again, promises. I didn't like it."

Kratos shushed him, still holding Lloyd tightly, trying to keep his hands from shaking. "It's okay, it's fine. You're okay."

He placed his hands over the sobbing child's cheek and pressed him closer. He'd already decided he wasn't keeping hard candy around anymore.


	18. Rule 18: Hit

**Siren: We were in both an abusive and snowy mood.**

**Muse: So, we spiced this one up with some Kratos abuse! And some snow.  
**

**Siren: Yay! Moving on...**

**(poof) Dr. House: Am I even in this?**

**Muse: Not really. But we're running out of disclaimer ideas.**

**House: Okay. Sirens & Muses don't own ToS or House, M.D.**

**Siren: Cool.**

**Muse: You're not going to fangirl attack him?**

**Siren: Of course not, Muse. I only fangirl attack hot guys.**

**Muse: Ouch. Harsh.**

**House: Whatever. (poof)**

**Siren: Review, please!  
**

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Rule #18: Little kids hit hard._

"Daddy, where we going?" Lloyd yelled into his father's ear. Kratos winced.

"Lloyd, calm down," he said. Lloyd pouted. "I told you, we're just running a few errands."

The duo trooped through the snowy city of Flanior. There was about a foot and a half of snow on the ground: slowing Kratos down a bit, but to three-year-old Lloyd, it was impossible to walk through without getting cold, wet, and stuck. Add to that the heavy snow still falling from the sky, and the toddler was pretty miserable. The only thing he seemed to be liking about the journey through Flanior was the fact that he got to ride on his father's shoulders.

Their first stop was long overdue. Kratos had been telling Anna for months that Lloyd needed to go to the doctor's for a check-up, since it had been almost a year and a half since any doctor had seen Lloyd. Finally, she'd somehow managed to pass the job off to him.

"Good morning," a cheerful man said, motioning for them to come in. Kratos lifted Lloyd off his shoulders and set him on the ground, taking off the little boy's coat. "What can I do for you two today?"

"My son hasn't been to a doctor in a while, so I just wanted to get him a check-up."

"Go ahead and put him up on the cot."

Kratos picked up Lloyd, who had been wondering around and touching things, and set him on the padded cot. He watched as the doctor pulled out a stethoscope.

"Daddy, waz that?" Lloyd asked as the doctor placed it on his chest.

"It's something so he can hear inside you better," Kratos told him.

"Really?" Lloyd pulled off the doctor's hand and yelled, "Hello!" into the end of the stethoscope. The doctor winced as he pulled out a pressure cuff.

"You're going to feel a little bit of pressure, okay?" he said to Lloyd. As the doctor pumped air into the sleeve, Lloyd looked over at his father.

"This feels weird," he said.

The doctor checked his ears, eyes, and nose, all of which caused Lloyd to giggle hysterically. He pulled Lloyd off the cot to measure and weigh him.

"Nineteen pounds," the doctor told Kratos, "And twenty-eight inches. He's small for his age."

"Is not!" Lloyd insisted. "I's big for my age."

"Lloyd, shh," Kratos scolded.

The doctor pulled out a hammer to check Lloyd's reflexes. "Okay, now I'm gonna hit you with this," he said to the little boy.

"Ow!" Lloyd said, rubbing his knee. "That hurt!"

The doctor smiled. "Well, we're about done. Just need to give you a booster shot."

Lloyd turned to his father. "Waz a booter shot?"

"It's so that you grow," Kratos said patiently.

"Oh." The doctor took out the needle and swabbed Lloyd upper arm with alcohol. "Waz you doing with that?" he asked.

The doctor didn't answer, but quickly stuck the needle in, pushed the plunger, and pulled it out.

"Hey!" Lloyd cried. "You making me bleed! That hurt!" The doctor came over, ready to stick a band aid over the spec of blood. Lloyd panicked.

He stuck out his foot and kicked the doctor on the side of the face.

Kratos stood up fast, but Lloyd had already dropped off the cot and was running for the door. "Lloyd," he said, blocking his son's way, "You have to-"

Lloyd pulled back his fist and let it fly, hitting his father squarely between his legs. For a few seconds, Kratos doubled over in pain, but he stood up fast. The doctor was holding his nose, which was bleeding. Lloyd had run around his father and was out the door.

Outside, Kratos could see through the white haze that Lloyd hadn't gotten far. He could make out Lloyd and the path he'd struggled through not even ten feet away.

"Lloyd, come back here," Kratos called, stepping after his son.

"No!"

"You don't have your coat. You're going to freeze."

"No!"

"Lloyd!"

"Daddy!"

Kratos reached down to pick up Lloyd, who ran away from his outstretched arms as fast as he possibly could…

_Fwump._

…into a snow drift.

For a split second, it was silent. Then, Lloyd started to cry.

"Oh, no," Kratos said, pulling the toddler out of the snow. "Don't cry."

"Is-is cold!" he sobbed. "Daddy, is cold out here!"

"Shh, we'll go back inside and get you warm," Kratos soothed, rubbing Lloyd's shivering back.

They went back inside the doctor's office. Kratos was glad to see that the bleeding had stopped, even though there was a very bloody rag next to the sink. "I apologize, Doctor," Kratos said. He nudged Lloyd.

"'Polgize, doccer," Lloyd mimicked.

"It's alright," the doctor said. "He got you, too, didn't he?"

"Yes."

"I got you good, Daddy," Lloyd said.

"I'm finished with him, so come over here and I'll check you," the doctor said.

"What?" Kratos asked.

"I'll check where he hit you to make sure he didn't cause serious damage." The doctor motioned for him to come over.

"I'm fine," Kratos said hastily, but the doctor pulled his arm.

"Don't be embarrassed," he said. "We're all adults here. Well, except for him," he added, nodding towards Lloyd. "Go on, pull down your pants and let me check it real fast."

Kratos reluctantly did as he was told. He could already hear Anna laughing at him. After a quick and mortifying examination, through which Lloyd asked why Daddy wasn't wearing a diaper, the doctor let him go.

"It doesn't look bad," the doctor said as Kratos pulled his pants back up. "Just put some ice on it when you get home."

"Thanks," Kratos mumbled.

He paid the doctor, picked up his son, and they started off for the inn. Lloyd, perched on his father's shoulders again, shivered. Once they got home, Anna greeted them both with a kiss. "How did it go?" she asked.

"The doccer says Daddy needs to puts ice in his pants!" Lloyd blurted out.

"I can explain," Kratos began, but Anna held up her hand.

"No, no," she said. "I don't want it explained. I think I'm better off not knowing."


	19. Rule 19: Attention

**Siren: We should be updating 'Letters'.**

**Muse: Yeah...**

**Siren: Oh, well. So we have an idea for a sequel-ish thing.**

**Muse: What would happen if we took these rules and applied them to grown up Lloyd?**

**Siren: Good idea? Bad idea? Ugly idea? Moderately okay idea? Any feedback? Any at all?**

**Muse: Disclaimer!**

**(poof) Yggdrasill: Sirens & Muses don't own ToS. Where's my theme music?**

**Muse: Oh, geez. Here. (plays music)**

**Yggdrasill: That's Kratos' theme song...**

**Muse: Whoops. (plays different song)**

**Yggdrasill: That's Zelos' theme song!**

**Muse: Calm down! (plays different song)**

**Yggdrasill: That's the VeggieTales theme song!  
**

**Muse: Whatever, it's close enough!**

**Yggdrasill: I demand theme music!**

**Siren: Poof the hell outta here.**

**Yggrasill: I will kill you all! (poof)**

**Muse:...**

**Siren:...**

**Muse: Well, that was strange.**

**Siren: Yeah. Review, please!  
**

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Rule #19: Don't give your child too much attention._

It started before he was even born.

When Kratos found out Anna was expecting, he wasn't sure how to react. He'd never had much experience with children-the closest he'd come to raising one was Mithos, and just look how _that_ turned out. He didn't want to be a bad father, but he wasn't sure how to be a good one. So, Kratos went with a tried and true method.

He decided to spend every waking moment with the baby.

Being an angel, and thus not needing sleep, this was a lot of time.

At night, he would lie next to a sleeping Anna and hum lullabies. Sometimes, he would talk to the baby. After her belly started to get big, Kratos would pat it or rub it while he hummed and talked. In fact, he was the first to feel a kick, as Anna was asleep at the time. Any time he saw Yuan, he made a point to update him on Anna's pregnancy. It got to the point that his oldest and best friend told Kratos that if he mentioned the baby one more time, he would personally see to it that he was unable to have any more children.

After Lloyd was born, Kratos became a doting father. When he came back home from a mercenary job, he would immediately pick up his infant son. He took every chance he could to feed him, bathe him, and hold him. When he put Lloyd into bed, he hummed or sang quietly to him. If Lloyd cried, Kratos was the one to comfort him.

After a while, the little boy became spoiled and refused to be touched by anyone other than his father, and occasionally his mother. Often times, when she went to pick him up, he would shove Anna's hands away and cry for his father. If Kratos wasn't there, or if he wasn't able to pick Lloyd up, the little boy would throw a tantrum until he did. Anna found that, during the day when Kratos wasn't home, she couldn't do anything: feed him, change his diaper, or anything that involved picking him up. So, she came up with an idea to fix the problem.

"I'm on a what?" Kratos asked.

"A baby ban. You're not allowed to pick Lloyd up, or talk to him, or play with him, or-or anything!" She pointed to the sleeping child in his arms. "He refuses to eat if I feed him, or take a nap if I hold him, or let me change his diaper. You're spoiling him. So, I've decided that for the next week, you are going to ignore your son."

"Are you jealous?" Kratos asked. She smacked him.

"No!"

The next morning, Kratos was sitting next to the crib, playing peekaboo with Lloyd when Anna woke up.

"Nuh-uh!" she said, seeing him. "What did I tell you? Get out!"

As Kratos left, Lloyd started to work up to a temper tantrum. "Anna," Kratos reasoned, "He's upset. I'll just take him downstairs and make breakfa-"

"Out!" She threw her shoe at him. He backed out of the room. A few seconds after Kratos was out of sight, Lloyd started wailing. His cries started to leave a ringing in Kratos' ears. Maybe he _was_ getting spoiled by all the attention.

Kratos made breakfast, still hearing Lloyd's cries from upstairs, accompanied by the banging of his feet on the crib bars. It was a habit of his to kick his feet during a tantrum. After about ten minutes, Anna came down with a disgruntled Lloyd in her arms. When he saw his father, his cries stopped and he reached out his arms happily. Kratos started over to calm him, but Anna picked up the spatula he'd been using to make eggs and smacked his hands with it.

"Did I stutter?" she growled. "Get back to cooking, and so help me if you touch him one more time, this spatula is going somewhere unpleasant."

"You've become increasingly violent since Lloyd's been born," Kratos remarked. Anna hit him again, this time on the shoulder.

"Unpleasant!" she shouted, sitting at the kitchen table.

Kratos, slightly uneasy about turning his back on her, decided it would be much more dangerous not to and resumed cooking. Lloyd, realizing that he was being ignored by his father, started to squirm and make what Anna called his 'unhappy noises', which were little grunts and dry sobs that would eventually work up to a full-on hysterical hissy fit.

"It's not like I have cooties!" Anna said, adjusting Lloyd so that he couldn't wiggle out of her arms. "Geez."

"Here," Kratos said, setting scrambled eggs on the table in front of her. "I suppose I'm not allowed to feed him?"

"Remember the spatula. Come on, Lloyd, let's eat some eggies. Hungry?" She lifted a forkful of eggs to her son's mouth. He kept his lips closed, shaking his head and trying to reach his father. Anna sighed. "You will eat with me, or you will starve, little boy. Eat!"

Kratos watched as it took Anna a full hour to get him to eat a dozen forkfuls of egg, most of which he spit out onto the floor. Finally, she threw up her hands. "Fine! I give! You can feed him."

Lloyd was happily dumped into his father's lap. Before Anna walked away, she said, "Oh, and by the way, Kratos?"

"Yes?" he said, successfully feeding his son eggs.

"You see, since he likes you a lot more than he likes me, you can deal with all his problems." She flashed him a smirk. "Like when he gets his first crush, when he needs to get the 'sex talk', when he disregards that 'sex talk' and gets a girl pregnant with our grandchild. Or, even worse, when he tells you that his first crush is not actually a girl. You, being his favorite parent, can help him through every one of those problems, while I sit back and watch you. In case you're wondering, I'll be laughing."

As Anna walked out of the room, Kratos looked down at Lloyd. "You wouldn't do that to your daddy, would you?"

Lloyd giggled.


	20. Rule 20: Untitled

**Siren: Well, this is it. The last chapter of this fic.**

**Muse: But don't worry! We're making a sequel!**

**Siren: So, what better way to end a fic than with Deep Depression?**

**Muse: Yeah, this isn't funny. At all. Unless you're really screwed up. Disclaimer!**

**(poof) Reno: Hello. Sirens & Muses don't own ToS or FF7. Again.**

**Siren: (drools)**

**Muse: Next time, the disclaimer isn't going to be one of your fangirl obsessions.**

**Siren: Sorry, still drooling. (drool)**

**Reno: Yeah...**

**Siren: Review! Please? Please? (drool)  
**

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_Rule #20: There is nothing you wouldn't do for your child. Nothing._

"Mommy!" Lloyd tried to run for his mother, but Kratos seized him around the middle and held him tightly. "Mommy, what's wrong?!"

Anna was on her hands and knees, shaking. Kratos called her name. No answer.

"Mommy!" Lloyd squirmed in his father's arms, trying to reach her.

"Anna," Kratos whispered. Kvar would be catching up anytime soon, they had to keep going. "Anna, we have to go. Let me heal you."

"Leave…me." Her voice was oddly strained, contorted and harsh. "Go…"

"Anna, I can't leave you," Kratos said. He stepped forward to help her, but she started to let out a high pitched scream. "Anna!"

"Get…out of…here! Run!" Her hands dug into the soft ground like claws. Her veins were popping out, green scales were spreading over her body. The locket around her neck broke as her neck expanded. She was changing.

In one crucial moment, Lloyd broke free. He was off like a shot, and before Kratos could grab him, he was tugging his mother's dress. "Mommy?!"

"Lloyd, no!" Kratos reached for him, but too late; Anna was standing up now, blue crystalline wings sprouting from her back. Anna reached down and grasped her son. Lloyd started to struggle in her hands.

"Mommy, what's wrong with you?!" Anna squeezed and her son gasped for air.

"Anna! Stop!" At the sound of Kratos' voice, she turned, and loosened her grip slightly. Lloyd slipped through her hands and onto the ground.

Anna gave a growl and swung her arm at Kratos. Then she turned around and swung at Lloyd.

"No!" Kratos ran for him, but wasn't going to make it in time…she would reach their son first…

There was flash of green and white, accompanied by a low, rumbling growl. Anna's massive limb crashed into Noishe, making him fall to the ground and whine, Lloyd behind him.

"Kratos…" He heard her speaking. She was holding her head now, as if she were in pain. "Kratos…kill me…please…"

"No," he whispered.

"Protect Lloyd…and yourself…kill me…" She let out a scream again, and charged after her son. Lloyd was in her grasp, struggling to get away, tears streaming down his face.

Kratos could hear crashing in the trees behind them. Kvar was coming. He turned to see Anna holding Lloyd over the cliff, about to drop him. Noishe whined, limping to try and reach them, but he was wounded too badly. Kratos had no time to think.

It was simple. Anna was gone; nothing could save her. Lloyd was in danger. His son needed him.

"Daddy!" The look of terror on the little boy's face was enough to make the decision for him. He pulled back his sword and plunged it into the monster Anna had become. Anna let out a shriek as the sword hit her. Blood dripped down onto Kratos' fingers.

Suddenly, a surge of electricity stung him. Kvar was here.

The next ten minutes passed in a blur. Kvar said something to Kratos, although he wasn't quite sure what it was. He recalled casting Judgment at least once. And the last he saw of his son, he was passed out, still clutched in his mother's hands. When Kratos turned back, having defeated Kvar and his men, Lloyd, Anna, and Noishe were gone.

He flew down the cliff, but saw nothing except Desian bodies. Blood, everywhere. All Kratos could think was that the blood was Lloyd's.

"Lloyd?" he called tentatively. Silence. "Lloyd! Where are you?! Anna?!"

He searched for hours, calling his son's name. There was nothing left; no sign of Lloyd or his mother. Finally, he saw something on the ground, spattered with blood. Kratos' hands shook as he reached for the only thing small enough to belong to a three-year-old.

Lying there, in a pool of blood, next to the corpse of a Desian, was a tiny brown shoe.

"Anna, Lloyd…No…" He dropped to his knees. "Lloyd…why?!"

Kratos couldn't breathe. He fell to the ground, unable to move as the realization hit home.

His family was dead. His son was dead.


End file.
